My School Days

So, I grew up in a small college town named Murray, KY. I think every child should be given basic things for school, new clothes, a new haircut, and basic little nicknacks to keep a child in style. Some bemoan the fact of spending the money on all those things. Well let's just say this...if you don't, you are futher tormenting your child to a HORRIBLE time at school. I always got hand me downs and was lucky to have even wal-mart clothes for school! I didn't get a new wardrobe like everyone else did every fall before school started, I didn't even get my haircut regularly like other children. When I did it was something well long out of style, and hard for me to maintain. My mother, I hate to say, is an akward person that isn't into being stylish, getting new clothes, wearing makeup, etc. Most of those things that a mom passes down to their daughter. So I grew up shy, but i tried very hard to make friends. My social skills were akward as well, I didn't know when to say and not say certain things, or do certain things. I had a hard time picking up on certain things a normal kid could. I was tormented in school, from people saying mean things, like I didn't bathe and I had bugs flying around my head. I became a joke to the other kids. I only had a few friends and without them I would have wanted to commit suicide at an early age. You should ALWAYS teach your kids NOT to say mean things to other kids. Do you people that made fun of me know what hell you put me through? It got worse the older I got. I really tried, all the time, to become like everyone else, but also just tried to be me. The worse my parents had no money, the worse it got with having the same clothes I wore years before, I quit getting haircuts regularly, and became more and more depressed. I do remember spending most of my junior and senior year reclused in a shell. I quit trying in school, I almost flunked out. All I wanted was to be a happy, normal girl. I remember prom I was actually lucky enough to have a date, from another school....all the while as we walked to get our picture taken I had someone in the crowd yell something obscene at me, that I didn't hear. I got laughed at and didn't even know it. After I found out I was humiliated to say the least. He didn't even dance with me, we just took off after that. I didn't care, I got no real prom, and no fun memories like everyone else. I didn't start having as much fun with my life until I went off to Germany. If I would have only had a good life and friends like everyone else did I would have been able to stomach staying in college and have a degree now. Books were my best friends. Books couldn't make fun of me, or treat me bad. I could escape off into another world and just forget about everything! I still read, just not as much because I dont have the time. So many thoughts are jumbling out of my head. I just remember the akward life I had. I remember sitting on the band bus and people making fun of me on a trip, saying cruel things, which drove me to quit. I don't know why someone has to be the butt of everyone's joke. Just so they feel so good about themselves. It's no wonder why people want to commit suicide, as I have for MANY a year. I'm just glad to have someone that finally stands by me and let's me be myself and I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not....which I will never be cool I guess or have really any friends. It's just me I guess.