Weird Dreams

I dreamt this morning that my ex husband got bitten by a black widow and ended up dieing. Then somehow he got brought back to life and was with a new hag of a woman. Not sure what all that was about and right now I can't remember most of the dream too clearly. Oh well, maybe it's his birthday or something.

My son is going to start a new program to help cope with his autism and try to catch up with kids his own age. I really hope they can teach him, mostly when I try to at home I fail miserably. Yesterday he was having a really bad autistic day, and I was frustrated almost all day long. I'm hoping today is better.

I wish I could sell this damn Scentsy crap. So far I haven't sold anything and it's frustrating, I at least thought my family would buy some from me. Oh well, I guess it's why I'm not close to anyone. To me my family is the one I have right here in this house, it's the only family that counts to me.

One day maybe my hubby and I will get out of this house, one day.....

My son and other crap

Well my son is still not talking. I never did ECI because people told me that "oh he'll talk when he wants to". Should have gone with gut instinct and had ECI get involed because now I have a son that STILL doesn't talk much to our dismay. We've tried flash cards, and are still trying, toys, games, etc. He doesn't play with his toys right, and does some pretty strange things, so we looked into autism. He has the secondary autism signs and his ped gave him the MCHAT test. She said she thinks it is mild and can be overcome. SO, now in Sept we are getting the school involed with testing him and then getting him in the school system Pre-K program for learning disabilites. We're hoping that by next year we will have a happy, talking, normal boy :)
BTW, I do like the new template desinger. Had to put me a nice happy premade one up!
Also, how my idiot family members who have really never seen William can say he's hyper and not autistic, it's not for you to decide or make comments when you haven't even been around him!!!! Makes me so damn mad!!!!
Neighbor s still leaving her piece of shit truck in front of our house...typical. Think we have had enough, pushing to put the house on the market again next year. We have got to get the hell out of this house before I go over and kill her.
Other than that it's the same shit, different day. You know, it's funny that people are going and voting on a child's picture on fb for a contest, but don't give a shit that there are horses going to slaughter and dieing and nobody gives a rat. How about if it was your kid going to a slaughterhouse, guess you would care then.....
I guess people turn a blind eye when it doesn't conern them or their own.

Getting Back into the Habit!

Yes I've been neglecting my blog for a few months. Our remodeling efforts for getting this place sold I think are really starting to turn heads. I think the main detractor now is the almost white berber carpet downstairs. The carpet looks hideous and we can't keep it clean, besides all the stains. We already need to shampoo all of upstairs again. Just because a company touts they are a good christian company doens't mean they necessarily do a GOOD job of something. This has been shown to us twice by a house cleaner and a carpet cleaning company. You hear christian and you think of honest good people, but don't always be fooled! Go for someone that has GOOD REVIEWS!!!!!!! I will never stress that enough now.

So we have been trying with little extra bits of money here and there to stage the house properly to sell via curtains, pictures, etc. I've always wanted to have a house that wowed people when they come visit. Maybe not super fancy, just a nice, clean, DECORATED place. It's amazing what spending 20 bucks here and there does for a house :) I've never had a decorated house before, and it feels good. Makes you really take more care and pride on your house when it looks nice.

On another note, my poor son still won't talk, but he's starting to get the hang of things he should already be able to do now. He still doesn't really point at things, but we think he CAN talk, just doesn't want to. He randomly counted from 1-5 the other day, but hasn't since. He's always been super hyper, won't sit still for anything. Now he gives daddy 5, sits at his play table and plays with his counting/abc toys. He still won't sit still in our laps for us to read a story to him. I wish he would, I would love to show him things, and teach him, but he never pays attention. I'm thinking about maybe making juice more of a treat than him getting it every day, even though it's almost all the way watered down. Think I may have to switch to just milk and water with juice and chocolate milk a rare treat. We hardly ever give him anything sugary as is. Just trying to think of things to get him to calmn down. If he is still not really talking by the end of this year, we will be going to get someone out here to check on him. He DOES show signs of being autistic, but it's not as bad as it was when he was 1.

Other than that things have ben quiet and slow here. Our poor SUV got keyed or we think someone backed into us with boards or a tree while Brian was at Home Depot. Poor SUV.

Not sure when we are taking our next trip to Nashville, but when we go we will probably look at some land. The plan is to buy some land, put a trailer on it, get all our debt paid off, get our name off the other house hopefully, and then finally build us a brand new custom home. I'll also be buying books and learning all about homesteading, gardening, raising farm animals. Not going to go too crazy with it, but we want a garden and maybe a few animals to have our own food. We hardly trust anymore what big companies but in our food. I would rather grow my own, and know what I am cooking with. i want a little greenhouse so I can also grow my own herbs, so I can make my OWN spices. I am really looking forward to it because I do love to cook now :)

Hmmmm....can't think of anything else now, but at least this is a start!

Rainy Sunday Morning

And all is well. We had a not so good day yesterday but we're going to try and make up for it today. I finally asked the neighbor to move the car and not put it back since we were moving. It's gone and hopefully no more disturbances in the neighbor force. We are having some quotes done tomorrow for having someone come in and finish ALL the work on the house maybe minus the carpet, we'll see. That way we could possibly have the house ready to sell within a few weeks!!! I am going to miss TX, but I think we'll be so much better off back in TN. We already have a place picked to live http://www.thephillipsbuilders.com/find-your-home/bridge-mill-at-providence . A nice little townhouse, in a nice subdivision, with a nice school. We were going to get a house there but these are a better deal, plus the floorplan is nicer.
So this weekend we blew our diet through the roof, so as of Monday it's back to eating better. We just need to go and get more groceries today.

I'm just so excited that WORSE case our house will be on the market by the end of March!

My School Days

So, I grew up in a small college town named Murray, KY. I think every child should be given basic things for school, new clothes, a new haircut, and basic little nicknacks to keep a child in style. Some bemoan the fact of spending the money on all those things. Well let's just say this...if you don't, you are futher tormenting your child to a HORRIBLE time at school. I always got hand me downs and was lucky to have even wal-mart clothes for school! I didn't get a new wardrobe like everyone else did every fall before school started, I didn't even get my haircut regularly like other children. When I did it was something well long out of style, and hard for me to maintain. My mother, I hate to say, is an akward person that isn't into being stylish, getting new clothes, wearing makeup, etc. Most of those things that a mom passes down to their daughter. So I grew up shy, but i tried very hard to make friends. My social skills were akward as well, I didn't know when to say and not say certain things, or do certain things. I had a hard time picking up on certain things a normal kid could. I was tormented in school, from people saying mean things, like I didn't bathe and I had bugs flying around my head. I became a joke to the other kids. I only had a few friends and without them I would have wanted to commit suicide at an early age. You should ALWAYS teach your kids NOT to say mean things to other kids. Do you people that made fun of me know what hell you put me through? It got worse the older I got. I really tried, all the time, to become like everyone else, but also just tried to be me. The worse my parents had no money, the worse it got with having the same clothes I wore years before, I quit getting haircuts regularly, and became more and more depressed. I do remember spending most of my junior and senior year reclused in a shell. I quit trying in school, I almost flunked out. All I wanted was to be a happy, normal girl. I remember prom I was actually lucky enough to have a date, from another school....all the while as we walked to get our picture taken I had someone in the crowd yell something obscene at me, that I didn't hear. I got laughed at and didn't even know it. After I found out I was humiliated to say the least. He didn't even dance with me, we just took off after that. I didn't care, I got no real prom, and no fun memories like everyone else. I didn't start having as much fun with my life until I went off to Germany. If I would have only had a good life and friends like everyone else did I would have been able to stomach staying in college and have a degree now. Books were my best friends. Books couldn't make fun of me, or treat me bad. I could escape off into another world and just forget about everything! I still read, just not as much because I dont have the time. So many thoughts are jumbling out of my head. I just remember the akward life I had. I remember sitting on the band bus and people making fun of me on a trip, saying cruel things, which drove me to quit. I don't know why someone has to be the butt of everyone's joke. Just so they feel so good about themselves. It's no wonder why people want to commit suicide, as I have for MANY a year. I'm just glad to have someone that finally stands by me and let's me be myself and I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not....which I will never be cool I guess or have really any friends. It's just me I guess.

This is what I need to start getting done. We went out and got more plastic crates for packing last night so I can do that during the day. Everything but the master bath and hall closet is painted up here, then we have to repaint all downstairs. The people that had this house before us painted it a bland, super-light gray and put in almsot white carpte /puke! Now this house is coming alive with a nice medium tan carpet, and COLOR! Nothing worse than stepping into a bland house! Brian and I decided to never buy another pre-owned house again after the pool is getting repaired. Between the cheapness of the house and everything that has falled apart, and the pool that was cheaply made, we have blown through SO much money! So from now on, we are going to TRY and make sure that we never buy a pre-owned house. I know not all houses are lemons, but whoever built this house did a horrible job, and the only owner it's had since it was built was CHEAP! He did only cheap upgrades, and NEVER maintained anything in or outside the house!!!!!!! A house is like a car, would you just drive your car without ever changing the oil, getting the tires rotated and balanced, or have a tune-up? Well a house is the same way. Hvac needs to be cleaned and maintained, the appliances should be maintained, air ducts should be cleaned, preventative for bugs, etc. I can't get people that buy things that are expensive and don't take care of them!
On another note my son is starting to finally be interested in things he should have been playing with almost a year ago. He stacks blocks,plays with duplos, rolls trucks, and is finally starting to mimic us a little. I hope that eventually he wills tart talking by 3. My poor little late-bloomer! He loves the little playmat we got at home depot for 20 bucks. I'm so excited that in 1 week he's shown such a drastic improvement. We are still trying to take bad things out of his diet too. Get rid of any MSG and high fructose corn syrup. For my sake and his! You would not BELIEVE the things that tout they are healthy or good for you that they sneak these things into!!!! We pick up EVERYTHING we buy now and read the label. Did you know normal Honey Maid Graham Crackers have HFCS but if you get the bees they don't??? What happpened to just making things with good old sugar??? I know the other crap is less expensive to make but since most of the world is trying to be healthier some of you companies are NOT setting a good example! KRAFT is HORRIBLE about putting junk in their foods!!!!!! If you are going to buy Kraft then pick up the box first! We have almost cut out buying any of their brands altogether. This is why we love going to H.E.B owned Central Market. Getting green cleaners, healthier and fresh foods, etc is SO nice! We both wish that it wasn't so expensive to eat better though....WHY oh WHY can't good foods be less expensive :(

Rain Rain Go Away...

Well actually rain doesn't bother me, especially when I'm not leaving the house. The only thing that does bother me is our broken pool pump. So we won't be able to backwash the pool to empty it out. At least brian is here so HE can bail the pool out hehehe... So I didn't blog this weekend because Brian came home and we were all spending quality time as a family. I enjoy when he goes on trips for like the first day or two of peace and then I get too lonely and mope. He's happy to be home too but both of us are in ways really looking forward to getting back to Nashville. Our friends are there, we are tired of this neighborhood, and well I would say family if they weren't all acting like asses. My mother won't the phone if I call. IF she feels like talking she will call me back. Mostly she won't. My oldest brother just blows his money while living at home with mommy. Instead of fixing up the house that we grew up in, that was supposed to be MINE, he has torn that old house up and then says he can't afford to live in it. MAGICALLY he has money for antiques that he doesn't need, a TV, video games, a new phone, a laptop, all this shit he doesn't need that could go into replacing crap in the old house. In ways no I don't blame the old lady for skipping out on him. She wanted a nice place to live in, a decent car to ride in, a husband that cared more about her than playing video games, etc. The way she cheated on him etc was shitty as hell though. She's engaged to be married to the guy while my brother mopes around txting girls that probably don't give a shit about someone that lives at home with mommy that is jealous over their ex. My other brother doesn't talk to me because I called his old lady out for them not coming to visit us. Instead we are supposed to drive 10 hours, then stop at their house, and get to the hotel at midnight? Nope don't think so! There wasn't a chance in hell of us making 2 pitstops for visiting people when it's so late already. Not to mention NOBODY can take time to be bothered to actually come see US in Nashville. That's typical though, when we did live there they pretty much never came to visit. So as far as family is concerned they can kiss my ass. Tired of having to live where they say, because it's such an inconvinience to them if I don't live on the North side of Nashville. I wanted to leave Murray so I could have a life and not end up country bumpkins like they have. Plus I'm so tired of my mothers incessant whining about how everyone at work and outside of it is out to get her. Of course they are mad at you dumb bitch, you can retire and not have to work, yet you wonder why people are getting mad because they CAN'T afford to be without a job. RETIRE already!!!!!! You are putting someone in need because of what? A job you hate? So don't come whining to me anymore about it. You are lame. If you don't like Murray it's simple MOVE!

I seriously don't get people anymore....